Here are seven things I never noticed about Barack Obama until I met him up close and personal in front of Ann and Gordon Getty’s house in San Francisco on April 6, 2008.

This post is just a teaser for my zombietime report Obama Visits Billionaires Row, which is now online for your viewing pleasure.

1. When he makes phony expressions of recognition to acknowledge a crowd of fans, his facial contortions aren’t nearly as grotesque as Hillary’s when she makes phony expressions of recognition to acknowledge a crowd of fans.

2. He sometimes has a sort of Harry Belafonte-esque calypso sashay to his walk.

3. The chief of his security detail is way too attractive for someone in that kind of job.

4. He’s so nice (or desperate for votes, depending on your point of view), he’ll even shake hands with a guy wearing a stupid iridescent top hat.

5. The mole on his face is slightly more repellent than I had previously realized.

6. From some angles, he seems to be getting a bald spot. From other angles, he’s not. Weird.

7. When rich people invite him over to entertain guests, they make him come in through the servant’s entrance.