Long ago, in an earlier epoch of human existence (Fall 2008), I created some anti-Obama slogans with a mind to manufacturing political ephemera for the purpose of influencing the presidential campaign, however slightly. Alas, in the frenzy of the election season, I never got around to actually making any use of these slogans. Then, shortly after the election, I came up with additional designs, this time catering to the new market of Obama voters with “buyers’ remorse.” But those too fell by the wayside, unused. More recently, in the aftermath of the 2010 midterms, I created yet more anti-Obama slogans, reflecting current attitudes, and was on the verge of once more allowing them to rot on the vine — until now. Rather than let them all go to waste, I have gathered up a selection of my more memorable propaganda slogans from the last 2+ years and finally made them available for purchase by the public, just in time for Christmas Kwanzaa Boxing Day the late-December gift-buying season.

And so I hereby present the Obama Disappointment Syndrome gift shop at CafePress where you can buy bumper stickers, shirts, hats, mugs and more emblazoned with your favorite anti-Obama mantras.

Thanks are due to Buzzsawmonkey and Chicken Kiev for help in thinking up some of the slogans, and to a couple of unnamed online pals willing to actually set up and host the CafePress shop.

Below you will find samples from our vast selection of designs and products, which you can order (for real!) and have delivered just in time for 2011 — or the next Tea Party rally. Click on any image below to go to a shop page devoted exclusively to that particular slogan — many more products are available than just the samples presented here. And for those of you short on cash and long on printer ink, I have included on this page fairly hi-res jpegs so you can download the images and print your own ersatz bumper stickers, if you so desire.

Politics + shopping — what better way to get this country back on track?

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“Frowny Obama” bumper sticker

Frowny Obama sums up the national zeitgeist midway through his presidency. Direct, simple, and to the point — like a diagrammatic road sign. At this stage, words are extraneous anyway; all you need is the name Obama, a big frown, and your message is clear. Suitable for conservatives, liberals, anarchists, peaceniks and Tea Partiers.

“Hope-a-Dope” women’s shirt

Remember Muhammad Ali and his “rope-a-dope” strategy against George Foreman? Ever get the feeling that Obama is trying something similar with the American public, allowing us to exhaust ourselves opposing an endless stream of outrageous proposals, and when we’re all tuckered out — blam! — he slips in a lame-duck-session combination when we least expect it. I call this the Hope-a-Dope technique, and now you can too.

“Obama for Caliph” yard sign.

I originally designed this double-take-inducing Obama for Caliph campaign sign back in 2008. Dripping with cynical double-edged sarcasm, it warned of a looming totalitarian theocracy while simultaneously poking fun at the then-nascent “birther” movement. I saw three emerging social waves: A new religion forming around Obama-worship among American leftists; fear among Christians that Obama was secretly still a Muslim; and Obama’s wild popularity (at the time) in the Middle East. What one slogan ties all three together? Obama for Caliph. Suitable for starry-eyed Obama die-hards, snarky conservatives, and jihadists.

“F O” girl’s shirt

Brevity is the soul of wit, and ultra-brevity is the soul of political effectiveness. Want to dominate your neighborhood with the most concise political opinion ever devised? Go F O ! (In case it needs explaining: it’s an update of the old blog/texting insult “F U”.)

“Obama Ipecac” all-American shirt.

Obama Ipecac? What the hell does that mean?

It doesn’t “mean” anything, in the literal sense. It’s what psychologists call “word association.” In this case we’re juxtaposing Obama’s name with the name of the once-common medicine “ipecac,” the extract of a South American plant which causes immediate and uncontrollable vomiting when ingested. If you’ve ever tasted ipecac, just seeing the word can induce nausea. Which is exactly the goal.

“I Cling…and I Vote” trucker’s hat.

Calling all rednecks!

Do you cling to guns and religion out of fear and ignorance, as our president so derisively theorized? And do you vote anyway, despite your stupidity and superstition? Time for some payback! An I Cling…and I Vote bumper sticker on your pickup truck will put the fear into the neighborhood liberals at your local supermarket parking lot.

“Hope and Change…suckers!” bumper sticker.

I designed this one in the first few weeks of Obama’s White House tenure, when it was already becoming obvious that liberals were starting to get a little suspicious of Obama’s sincerity about some of his campaign promises. While Hope and Change…suckers! was originally conceived with a strictly left-leaning audience in mind, smart-ass conservatives can also buy it as a way to taunt any liberals in the vicinity.

“NObama ’08” mug.

NObama ’08 was the very first of my designs, way back when Obama tied up the Democratic nomination in the summer of 2008. Alas, shortly afterwards, the exact same slogan occurred to several other more retail-savvy entrepreneurs, so I shrugged and set my slogan aside as not particularly original. But now in retrospect I see that my actual finalized design was better than most of the others on the market, so if you’re nostalgic for the “good old days” when Obama had not yet been elected, then this is the slogan for you!

“Barack, you have disappointed me” women’s tank top.

Guilt is the primary liberal weapon, both politically and interpersonally. I’ve distilled down the essence of this emotional blackmail and turned it into a personalized guilt-trip aimed at Obama from the left: “Barack, you have disappointed me.” The child-like handwriting gives it that extra-potent whiney passive-aggressiveness. Suitable for liberals and leftists only.

“Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss/Bush” cap.

When Obama won the election in 2008, I knew he couldn’t possibly keep all his campaign promises, so I suspected a huge wave of disillusionment would eventually sweep across the country. With that in mind, I adapted The Who’s teen slogan Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss and superimposed “Bush” on the second “Boss,” to show that, no matter how hard he would try to be the anti-President, Obama would surely follow in his predecessor’s footsteps on many issues. Sure enough, my prediction came true (Afghanistan, bailouts, Guantanamo, gay marriage, surveillance, etc.), so this old slogan’s time has finally come.

“I voted for HOPE and CHANGE but got MORE of the SAME” bumper sticker.

I voted for HOPE and CHANGE but got MORE of the SAME was yet another variation on the “Obama Disillusionment” theme from late 2008.

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Have ideas for other slogans/designs you think would be good to include in the Obama Disappointment Syndrome gift shop? Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments section below!