Everyone’s speculating about the scale of the coming Republican victory in the midterm elections. Will they win 39 seats in the House of Representatives? 45? 60? 80?

And in the confusion, everyone’s testing out different possible metaphors to describe the political and cultural effect of the Republican win, depending on its size. Will it be a “massacre”? A “tsunami”? A “generational shift”?

The time has come to get this all straightened out. I hereby present The Official Guide to…

 
Republican 2010 Victory Metaphors
 

If Republicans win…	The correct metaphor to use is…
1 – 38    seats	blip
39 seats	wave
40 – 41     seats	a good shellacking
42 – 45     seats	steamroller
46 – 47     seats	earthquake
48 – 49     seats	The Big Payback
50 – 52     seats	asskicking
53 – 56     seats	1994 all over again
57 – 59     seats	Tea Party Jamboree
60 – 62     seats	wipeout
63 – 64     seats	a thumpin’
65 – 66     seats	stampede
67 – 69     seats	massacre
70 – 71     seats	juggernaut
72 – 75     seats	1894 all over again
76 – 77     seats	revolution
78 – 79     seats	The Perfect Storm
80 seats	tectonic rupture
81 – 84     seats	tsunami
85 – 86     seats	The Great Refudiation
87 – 89     seats	meteor strike
90 – 91     seats	generational shift
92 – 94     seats	Party Like It’s 1773
95 – 97     seats	Doomsday
98 – 99     seats	Armageddon
100 seats	The Apocalypse
101 – 116        seats	mass extinction event
117+ seats	The End